Toddler Biting

First of all it’s important to know that many two and three year olds go through an aggressive phase. Toddler biting can actually start as far back as babyhood, although it’s pretty safe to say that a small baby testing out his new tooth is not quite the same as a two-year-old with a full set of molars sinking them into your arm.

Quite simply, toddlers will hit, bite, kick and punch simply because they know it’s a sure-fire way to get your attention, so it’s vital that you show them it doesn’t work. The first time they bite may be for one reason or another, but once they see the colourful reaction from you or another adult, then they may decide to repeat it for the fun of it.

If your child does bite, then act immediately. DO NOT EVER carry out the old chestnut of ‘biting your child back’. For a start, this concept went out with the hay wagons but it’s also important that you show your child that violence isn’t acceptable in any format. If you bite back, what message are you sending out?

Tell him immediately that he has bitten and must now sit in ‘time out’ for two minutes (or a minute for each year of his life). Put into operation whatever techniques you normally use for bad behaviour, but remain calm. Let your child know in no uncertain terms that biting is not acceptable. Even a two-year-old understands ‘no’, so just say in a clear tone, ‘no biting’. It’s quick, concise, clear and effective.

Once your child has come off the time out step and apologised, tell him quite firmly that ‘we don’t bite’ other people.

If the recipient of the bite is another child, then ask your child in a low, firm voice to apologise and tell them not to do it again, then distract them with something else. Follow the technique of making a huge fuss of the injured party and giving the biter a low-key response. This gets across the message that hitting isn't going to get them attention.

If you're the one who has been bitten, try to keep your reaction as minimal as possible.
If you suspect at any point that your child is biting as more of an oral fixation rather than an actual desire to cause pain, give him something hard, such as a rubber teething ring to bite on.