Terrible twos

The term ‘terrible’ twos’ has become a familiar phrase in the English language, but why are they so ‘terrible’? Well, the main reason for the ‘terrible twos’ stage is quite simply that what was once a darling, smiling little cutie has now become a little, screaming terror, who seems intent on destroying your sanity!

By around 24 months, toddlers are generally quite mobile. They are able to walk at a brisk pace for multiple steps and most are highly explorative. Their main characteristic at this point is quite simply curiosity! While most will have marvellously inquisitive minds, however, they have absolutely no concept of what is safe, what is harmful, what is good and what is bad. They’re just out to explore.

To pre-empt the difficulties that go with this stage, you can toddler-proof your home quite simply. Put away anything that’s precious or delicate. Put safety latches on cupboard doors and gates on the stairs. Children do need to learn safe from harmful, right from wrong and good from bad. When your child does do something you consider inappropriate, then tell them so in a firm voice before directing them to other approved activities.

They’re also by this stage little bundles of emotion. Extreme emotion of any type is difficult to handle and at this stage toddlers can easily veer from extreme upset to extreme frustration in one easy move. Indeed, it may be the frustration that can lie behind a lot of tantrums. If your child cannot for example make herself understood easily, then you may find her losing the rag simply through the frustration of not being able to communicate how she feels or what she wants.

One of the main reasons for the ‘terrible twos’ may simply be that your child is just getting harder to fool. Although we may not like to admit it, up until now, we’ve all been guilty of telling as many little porkies as it takes to get through the day. ‘It’s broken’, ‘it’s shut’, ‘they don’t have any left’. We’ve all been there!

So how do you cope?

• let them win occasionally. In the midst of a torrent of ‘nos’, you have to have some ‘yes’s. Try to understand their frustration.
• Let them be the boss occasionally. Let them make some choices and decide what cereal they can have for breakfast. After all, they’re learning every day what to do and what not to do, and are being pulled and pushed this way and that. Help them take those first few steps to becoming a little person in their own right.