The Mother in-law - Monster in-law or God send?

We have all heard the stories about the horrible mother in law and how interfering they can be, how we can do nothing right and are just generally difficult to have about.

But what is the difference between the mother in law and our own mothers? Why is it that when we are talking about the support we get from grandparents it is our own parents in the majority that are fantastic and the in laws are not.

It is all a matter of knowing how to take someone else’s comments and efforts in a respectable way and both of you having a clear sense of the boundaries. We have had our entire lives to learn these things about our parents but in comparison not nearly enough time to learn these about our family in law and in turn they haven't known us long enough either.

When it comes to raising our children everyone will have an opinion about how best to it and in many cases our view will contradict theirs. We need to remember that we are a different generation and there are many things available to us now that our parents and indeed the in laws did not have.

A prime example of this is cloth nappies, we all know and love the new generation of cloth nappies that no longer require pins and intricate folds. However, many women of an older generation have experienced cloth nappies in the terry towelling days. Some will have fond memories and will offer support and wisdom but the opposite may also be true as some may have bad memories of terry squares and therefore prefer if you use disposables. You can't win!

Here at Baba Me there is definitely a mixed bag of thoughts when it comes to the in-laws, some haven't had the chance to get to know theirs and would cherish their help, others have experienced the monster in-law interfering with everything they do. Then we also have a few mummies here that have mothers in-law that do not respect the boundaries 100% of the time but they have come to recognise that they do not mean any malis by doing this. They are simply trying to help and in many cases what they say even if at the time has fallen on deaf ears it has helped in at least a small way.

Our staff have also experienced really positive mother in law influences first hand with the mother and baby shows. Some mum/mum and daughter/mother in law combinations are exceptionally close, and the advice handed down not only on cloth nappies, but parenting advice in general is really positively received. Thankfully this seems to be the norm!

The important thing to remember is that you and your other half are the primary care givers for your baby and all decisions are ultimately yours to make. Tell us about your experiences so that we can all feel normal whatever our experience is!